I Am A Comic Routine

I really need to start putting down my day to day comic happenings more often.   Matilda my lil terrorier mix caused a lot of trouble this week.  The Xmas trees are being cut up on the mountain.  The pickup trucks with their trailer full of trees are coming down the mountain several times an hour until late into the day.  Matilda has learned to run up the hill into the pasture, hide behind a big tree on a curve in the road and jump out at the trucks as they come down the mountain.  I finally caught her at it on Tuesday as I saw her from the upstairs window.  It would have been funny if I hadn't been scared she would get run over.  I could see her peeking her head around the tree, one ear straight up listening for the next truck. She would hunch over then burst full speed out and around the tree right into the road.  Over and over she did this until I finally had enough, whistled for her and tied her up.  You would have thought that would have been enough trouble for Tilly The Terrible but the next day she got into more trouble.

Wednesday I was supposed to go to town to meet my girlfriend.  I was sitting having coffee with my husband when I heard our geese coming up the hill to be fed.  Before I could even stand up I heard Tilly barking up a storm and the geese screaming and flapping their big wings.  She had chased them not only down the hill to the pond but two went into the woods.  I got down to the pond, after chaining the monster up, and saw only two geese, George & Gracie, and Spot our duck.  I could hear Gus and Gertie screaming (yes my geese sound like they are screaming when there is BIG trouble).  I called Gertie who followed my voice and watched her crawl through the big brush of thorn bushes.  She was finally safe on the pond but Gus was no where in site.  I started to walk into the woods to find him when my husband said he was further away than I thought.  So back up the hill I climbed got the keys to the truck, cursed some more at Tilly and down the mountain I went.  I'd call to Gus out the window of the truck and listen to him honking back at me.  One half mile down the mountain I found myself a little bit closer to him.  Now this week has been unusually warm and I don't like walking in the woods when there is a chance of snakes.  I didn't have a choice this time.  I parked my truck and started calling to him.  "Gus where are you?  Mommy is here."  (Hey don't laugh if my friends call me Mother Goose I can tell Gus I'm his mommy.)  I finally located where he was which of course wasn't easy to get to.  I climbed down the hill, into the woods, over the a bunch of rocks to a little cleared area where Gus was.  Poor thing was shaking in his feathers.  He immediately started running towards me.  Oh so what if you say geese don't run, they do so it  just is kind of a funny running.  I picked him up, all 30 pounds of him, and he wrapped his long neck around mine.  Now that is a cute picture if I wasn't about an 1/4 of a mile off the road and it was all downhill at least when I climbed into the woods.  Believe me, nothing is harder than climbing up hill with a 30 pound goose who is shaking and still honking not to mention a few poops along the way.   I get up to the truck and realize I have no idea how to get him back home.  The only thing to do was put him in the back seat.  Yeah I know, it wasn't a good idea.  By the time I got into the truck the back seat had been covered in goose poop which smells awful.  Gus is still honking, flapping his wings and putting up a fuss. I turned the truck around and poof, Gus flew into the passenger seat and stuck his head out the window. Now a dog can stick their head out the window but a goose will only do it if he is trying to escape.  Nothing else for me to do but roll up the windows on a nice very warm November day.  The truck is warm and didn't smell very pleasant. In fact it STANK.  So back up the hill I go to Mother Goose's house.  By this time I'm trying to figure out who I can "gift" Tilly The Terrible to.  I pull the truck all the way down the drive in front of the house. I get Gus out of the truck where upon he defecates on me again.  I carry him down to the pond where he is safely back in the loving wings of Gertie and the gang.  Back up the hill I climb and who is on the porch but my loving hubby telling me "I told you not to get that dog."   Now when I'm really perturbed (pissed off) please don't tell me what I should have done because I'll just dig in my heels and ignore you.  I get the Green Machine (thank you Bissell